Raya and the Last Drag(Ben Affleck off the internet please)on
Idk I'm tired, that joke made more sense in my head
Hi everyone! This was a busy week so I’m probably leaving out a lot of important stuff (RIP to Bill and Melinda Gates, more terrible journo career advice dunks, I saw on Twitter that Kim Kardashian smuggled some statues or something, have no idea what that is) but there were two crucial things I needed to talk about so here we go.
Ben Affleck’s Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Dating Life
Oh Benjamin, my sweet sweet New Englander slack-faced man, do you know nothing? Years after a failed long-term marriage with Jennifer Garner and relatively soon after ending a whirlwind of a relationship with Ana de Armas, Ben Affleck is back in the game. But apparently he has no game at all?
This TikTok blew up on Monday, when Instagram model Nivine Jay posted that she had matched with Ben Affleck on Raya (a highly exclusive dating app reserved for the rich and famous, yes this is a real thing, no you cannot join it), but unmatched him as she thought it may have been a fake account. Ben proceeded to send her a (comically bizarre, very Gen X/weirdly angled) video on Instagram, proving it was him.
I have kind of mixed feelings about this: On one hand, it was probably highly embarrassing and invasive to have had this video posted on the internet. But on the other hand you are BEN AFFLECK. And you went out of your way to find this woman on Instagram after she unmatched you, record a video, and click send. Ick, I don’t know man, maybe just take the L next time and find some other 20-year-old to date instead.
Meanwhile, “NIVINE! Why did you unmatch me…” will continue to haunt my dreams into eternity.
New fake Wii sports music just dropped
My personal king of the internet, Gabe Gundacker (most importantly known as the “Zendaya is Meechee” guy), is continuing his 5-year-old series of unofficial Wii Sports music. The latest edition, just posted this morning, is for a hypothetical Wii Chess in the Park. Give it a listen below, it’s perfect. And you can find the complete soundtrack on Bandcamp here.