This is MY Oscars slap
It’s Labor Day, and yet here I am LABORING away during a truly terrible heatwave at 10:08 p.m. because Twitter is ablaze with takes.
For those unfamiliar with the “Don’t Worry Darling”/Olivia Wilde/Harry Styles/Florence Pugh debacle, please first read the last edition of Amy Explains.
“Don’t Worry Darling” premiered today (or yesterday, fuck time zones, I don’t care) at the Venice Film Festival, and here’s everything you need to know about that:
This Chris Pine meme
The “DWD” cast did a quick press Q&A and this photo of Chris Pine (who I completely forgot was in this movie until now) was maybe the first meme of the day to take off. The hair, the face, the headphones (which I believe they all had to wear for translation purposes) kill me.
Dead serious though, I am BEGGING someone to drop the name of this man’s hair stylist. This balyage is impeccable.
A few more Chris Pine memes
It appears that the full cast of this movie is completely checked out.
Harry Styles, an actor (allegedly), who can act (allegedly, and knows what acting is (apparently not)
Ms. Flo, queen above all
As reported, Florence Pugh did not do press for the movie, but she did show up for the premiere. Generally it appears that she’s just over this whole situation.
I’ll also note that there were several rumors swirling around Pugh and the audience’s standing ovation at the end of the premiere. “DWD” received a four minute standing ovation (Which isn’t actually that long at the Venice Film Festival, it’s common for standing ovations to last upwards of like 10 minutes. Which I’ll make another side note: Long standing ovations are so stupid!!! Like what do you do for that time?? Just stand around and smile? Don’t people’s hands get tired?? We get it, you liked the movie, or at least are pretending it is. Let’s get a move on people!) Allegedly the ovation could have lasted longer, but Pugh actually started to exit the theater around the four minute mark, and the rest of the cast followed. Why did she choose to leave? Maybe she also thinks long ovations are stupid, idk.
The reviews are out
Critics seem to be pretty lukewarm on the movie overall. L.A. Times film critic Justin Chang called it, “a disappointingly heavy thud of a movie.”
The spit take
THIS is the big one. This is our white/gold dress, our laurel/yanny, our “Is Leonardo DiCaprio breaking up with his girlfriends when they turn 25, or are these women breaking up with Leonardo DiCaprio because their brains finish fully developing at 25 and they suddenly realize they want nothing to do with him?”
Did. Harry. Styles. SPIT. on. Chris. Pine? Watch the video. It really looks like he did, but the bigger question might be: Why??? I hypothesize that he did indeed spit, but it was an accident, which I base on his general nonchalance and also that Harry Styles seems smart enough to not spit on a human being in public at a movie premiere. But it’s open for interpretation I guess.