The Emily Mariko Hunch
Amy Explains goes multimedia
Friends!!! We have our first video Amy Explains!
Watch here. (Please ignore the fact that I’m swinging a knife around during 75% of it)
Read my previous entry about Emily Mariko
An abbreviated Crisp Rat Timeline
Chris Pratt, once an S-Tier Hollywood Chris during the heyday of “Parks and Rec” and “Guardians of the Galaxy,” made headlines again this week for a very embarrassing and maybe sneakily rude Instagram post. Here’s a quick breakdown of the actor’s fall from grace.
Chris Pratt rises to fame as beloved “Parks and Rec” character Andy Dwyer. In real life he appears very goofy and likeable. He’s married to fellow goofy actor Anna Faris. They have a son together.
Pratt’s profile skyrockets when he’s cast as the lead in Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy.” He gets super shredded, rebrands into a sort of action star. People love him more.
After a stint leading the “Jurassic World” movies, Pratt announces he’s splitting from Faris. Fans speculate if his rise to fame has made him “too big” for Faris. Bad energy, for sure.
Less than two years after splitting from Faris, Pratt announces that he’s engaged to a notably younger Katherine Schwarzenegger. They have a baby together. Very, “I got jacked and famous and rich so I left my wife for someone younger and hotter” vibes.
News floats around that Pratt and Schwarzenegger attend a church that’s very openly against gay marriage. Rumors swirl that he’s a “MAGA bro.” Eh… you get where this is going.
I almost forgot, he’s voicing Mario in an upcoming Nintendo movie, lol. An L for Italians everywhere.
Finally, this week, Pratt posts this on Instagram.
Most of this is probably a joke, but even if it is…. yuck!!!
“Her heart is pure and it belongs to me.” I’m gonna actually throw up.
A lot of people noted the phrase “a gorgeous, healthy daughter,” which sort of reads like a dig at his other family: In 2012, Pratt's son with Anna Faris, Jack, was born nine weeks premature and had to spend several weeks in the NICU before he was able to go home.
Pop Crave @PopCraveAnna Faris trends on Twitter as people show her love after her ex-husband, Chris Pratt, praised his new wife in a new Instagram post, saying: “she's given me an amazing life, a gorgeous healthy daughter.” Anna Faris has been open about her son Jack's health issues. https://t.co/bQbiEOsY6n
And the weirdest part of this whole Chris Pratt cancellation, is that it actually started as a joke.
I’m too lazy to pull up the actual receipts lol, but a few years ago someone tweeted a photo of four Hollywood Chrises (Evans, Hemsworth, Pratt and Pine), and without any particular reason, most of Twitter agreed that Pratt was the least interesting of the four. No backlash, no criticism, just a bunch of people online just being like, “Eh, I don’t love this guy.”
BUT soon after a bunch of MCU White Knight normies — RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, etc — started making a HUGE hullabaloo about it, posting stuff like “Chris Pratt is the BEST man I know!!! All of you are SO mean!! blah blah blah” and boy was that a mistake!
Where was this energy when Brie Larson was getting pummeled by misogynists or when Chadwick Boseman was getting lampooned by racist trolls. No, all it takes is someone saying, “Wow it sucks that Chris Pratt goes to a homophobic church” and the MCU is ready to bring out the big guns. I’d pin this as the main catalyst for the Pratt hate train.
Anyways, happy to see Messina take Pratt’s place in the Hollywood Chrises rafters.