A formal apology to Sydney Sweeney
I'll pack up my desk
In the last edition of Amy Explains, I wrote a quick run down of the latest obscure internet drama: That actress Sydney Sweeney lied about being a tour guide at Universal Studios Hollywood.
In a turn of events however, a new Hollywood Reporter story reveals that actually… Sweeney was telling the truth! Or at least mostly.
According to their investigation, Sweeney was hired by the theme park on June 12, 2016, attended an orientation and training shift, but left the job on July 18, likely after she booked an acting gig, and before she had the chance to lead any actual tram tours.
Unfortunately the world will never have the opportunity to witness a Sydney Sweeney Universal Studios tour, but I guess the tradeoff there is that we got to watch this iconic “Euphoria” monologue, so, we’re probably better off.
What is a tote bag worth?
Emily Mariko, inventor??? of the modern day reheated salmon-rice bowl, queen of having bad posture and now sellout girl boss shill??
The food/cooking TikToker has recently come under fire for releasing her first ever line of merchandise: farmer’s market tote bags.
They look… nice! Roomy, well-made, albeit a little bland (their only real uniqueness is a small tag on the inside that says “Emily Mariko”). But the real conversation igniter about these bags is their price tag: $120.
Historically, Mariko has had very little interaction with her followers, and rightfully so. Her pristine, wealthy lifestyle and minimalistic videos have inadvertently created expectations of perfection, to the point where things happen like, people getting ANGRY about an underbaked pumpkin pie she made two years ago.
I am not making that up, here is a screenshot of a video she posted two weeks ago of her cooking some butternut squash, with a search prompt at the bottom that says “emily mariko pumpkin pie apology.” And no, of course she never “apologized” about the pumpkin pie.
Mariko never responds to comments, and rarely even speaks in her videos, which on one hand shields hers from the cruelties of her viewers, but also unfortunately enables uncalled for narratives about her to run rampant online.
So naturally the $120 tote bags set off a firestorm. People were quick to point to Trader Joe’s and Amazon tote bags that cost far, far less, accusing Mariko of classism, exploitation and being “out-of-touch.”
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While I agree that $120 is a lot of money, I also believe that our society has been deeply Temu/SHEIN/Amazon-pilled into deeply misunderstanding the true cost of goods. If you believe in fairly-paid labor and consciously-sourced materials, you should not expect for your tote bags to cost $15.
The other question that this raises is: What does Emily Mariko owe us? Mariko is not forcing anyone to spend $120 on a bag. She posts her videos online for free, she does not have a Patreon, she does very minimal sponsored content and because she doesn’t talk to her followers, she doesn’t ever really ask for anything.
Whether people acknowledge it or not, her lifestyle has always been wealthy, luxurious and quite frankly, unattainable. Is there a moral failure in her mere existence? Jenny Zhang in Slate best describes the overall internet fury as “an expression of pure parasocial rancor that Mariko gets to live this way, and the carefree buyers of those $120 bags get to, too, but we don’t.”
Here’s the real kicker though: The bags sold out! Between all this hemming and hawing about affordability and relatability and class, people were buying these bags. And either this was all one big psyop and Emily Mariko only produced like 20 bags to sell to the public, or this is just another of many examples of the internet uproar having no impact on real life. You can be pissed about a $120 tote bag all you want, but Mariko was right all along in knowing her true audience, and knowing what sells.
Anyways, stay safe out there folks
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See, if Sydney Sweeney did her JOB more people would understand this joke, smh.